🎭 10 Musicals Ranked by How Likely We’d Survive Their Plot 🚨
(Because some musicals are pure chaos, and frankly, we wouldn’t make it out alive.)
1️⃣ The Sound of Music – 100% Survival Rate 🌿🎶
Skills needed: Singing, twirling in meadows, light babysitting.
Escape plan: Just hike over the mountains with the Von Trapps. Easy.
Verdict: We’d survive. Might even get a cute nun outfit out of it.
2️⃣ Legally Blonde – 99% Survival Rate 💅📚
Skills needed: Determination, a solid hair care routine, the ability to bend and snap.
Worst-case scenario: You don’t get into Harvard, but life goes on.
Verdict: Thriving, not just surviving.
3️⃣ Mamma Mia! – 95% Survival Rate 🏝️🎤
Skills needed: Knowing at least five ABBA songs, existing near a beach.
Biggest danger: Accidentally inviting three potential dads to your wedding.
Verdict: We’d make it, and we’d be fabulous while doing it.
4️⃣ Annie – 80% Survival Rate 🐶🎶
Skills needed: Being an orphan with main character energy.
Potential hazards: Evil orphanage owners, singing in the streets of NYC.
Verdict: Not ideal, but Daddy Warbucks will probably adopt us too.
5️⃣ Hamilton – 50% Survival Rate ⚔️🎙️
Skills needed: Writing like you're running out of time, dueling etiquette.
Major risk: Everyone’s either in a war or a duel, and neither ends well.
Verdict: Flip a coin. You might live, but history has its eyes on you.
6️⃣ Les Misérables – 30% Survival Rate 🇫🇷💀
Skills needed: Revolutionary spirit, an impressive belt voice.
Biggest threat: French revolution. Sewer travel. Constant suffering.
Verdict: We’re not making it past Act 1.
7️⃣ The Phantom of the Opera – 20% Survival Rate 🎭👀
Skills needed: Singing ability, not getting kidnapped.
Biggest hazard: Creepy masked man living under a theatre.
Verdict: If you’re Christine, you’ll probably make it. If not… yikes.
8️⃣ Chicago – 15% Survival Rate 🔫💃
Skills needed: Dance skills, legal savvy, avoiding murder charges.
Biggest risk: Getting framed or, you know, actually committing a crime.
Verdict: You’re either in prison or dead.
9️⃣ Sweeney Todd – 5% Survival Rate 🔪🥧
Skills needed: NOT getting a haircut in Fleet Street.
Biggest hazard: Getting turned into a pie.
Verdict: We’re all on the menu.
🔟 Little Shop of Horrors – 1% Survival Rate 🪴🩸
Skills needed: Gardening. But, like, really aggressive gardening.
Biggest risk: Giant man-eating plants.
Verdict: Let’s be real—Audrey II is taking over the world.
✨ Moral of the story? Stick to Mamma Mia! if you want to make it out alive. 🎤🏝️
