🌙 The “Evening Routine Goals” List

(Because winding down doesn’t mean turning into a wellness influencer.)

📺 1. Sit Down for “Just One Episode” (And Finish a Whole Season)

You planned to sleep early, but now it’s 3 AM, and you’re Googling conspiracy theories about the show’s ending.

Pro tip: Call it “self-care” because technically, you cared for yourself by ignoring responsibilities.

🍽️ 2. Stare at the Fridge for 10 Minutes Deciding if You’re Hungry

Spoiler: You are. The evening snack routine is sacred—even if it’s just random leftovers and a questionable cheese stick.

📱 3. Scroll Social Media “Just to Unwind” and End Up Reading About Celebrity Drama You Don’t Care About

How did you end up on an article from 2012? Who knows.

Pro tip: Call it “staying culturally relevant.”

🛋️ 4. Debate Starting a New Book/Show/Project—Then Don’t

You could start something new, but let’s be honest: repeating what you already love is the vibe.

🍿 5. Watching Deep-Dive YouTube Videos About Absolutely Random Topics

“How do they get the cream inside Twinkies?” and “What happened to Douglas Emerson?”

🎮 6. Playing a Game You Swear You’re “Not Addicted To”

Puzzle games? Card shuffling? Something low-effort but weirdly satisfying.

Pro tip: Trash talk the computer like it’s personal. It is.

😈 7. Making Unattainable Plans for the Weekend—Purely for the Vibes

Road trip? Home makeover? You know you’re not doing it, but dreaming feels productive.

🍷 8. Plan an Elaborate Evening Routine—Then Ignore It Entirely

Candle-lit reading nook? Spa-level skincare? Nah.

Pro tip: Sitting on the couch scrolling memes counts as winding down.

😈 9. Make Late-Night Existential Plans for Your Future

New career? Moving somewhere cool? You’re mentally thriving—until the morning when you realize you’re not that ambitious.

🛏️ 10. Finally Get Into Bed and Realize You Forgot Something

Water? Phone charger? Everything’s across the room.

Pro tip: Debate if you can survive without it. (Answer: You cannot.)