10 Things My Dog Would Definitely Do If He Had Thumbs
Because let’s be honest, our dogs are already running the house. Thumbs would just make the takeover official:
Open the Fridge and Eat Everything — Cheese? Gone. Bacon? Vanished. Leftover pizza? History.
Unlock the Front Door — Because obviously it’s time for an unsupervised trip to the park.
Text Other Dogs — Group chats full of “woof” memes and backyard gossip.
Swipe Right on Tinder — “Looking for someone who loves long walks and belly rubs. Must share snacks.”
Order Unlimited Toys on Amazon — Because one squeaky toy is never enough.
Change the TV Channel — Finally, DogTV 24/7. You watching human shows? Not anymore.
Take Selfies — Constant photos with captions like: “Fluff on point. #DogLife #SelfieKing.”
Turn Doorknobs for Private Naps — No more interruptions during those all-important 12-hour sleep sessions.
Write a Memoir — “My Life on the Couch: A Journey of Snacks, Naps, and More Snacks.”
Plot World Domination — Because after treats and naps, what’s left? Clearly, global control.
